Fear-based or real, children's fears need to be addressed before, during, and after a storm strikes, so together you react as necessary for the safety of your family.
Helping Children CopeDisasters may strike quickly and without warning. These can be frightening for adults, but are traumatic for children if they don’t know what to do.
During a disaster, your family may or may not have to leave your home. Certainly, your daily routine will be upset, so that your child may become anxious, confused or frightened.
As an adult, you will have to maintain a coping stance that will help your child deal with the change and alleviate her/his sense of loss and upset.
Research has shown that children who have witnessed multiple storm stresses have a greater propensity for stress in the proximal storm. Research has also made us aware that children who have experienced a stress reaction in one storm may have the same or greater stress reaction in the next storm.
Even at a very young age, children depend on their routines and rituals to understand their position in the family, in society and to accomplish their goals. When their cycles of sleep/waking, school/home, play/friends/work is interrupted they become anxious and often, after time, unable to function.
In preparing for a disruption of routine,
it is always important to talk about the disruption before it occurs. Therefore, it is never too early to sit your children down, and talk about how storms react, what their jobs are before, during and after the storm, and how the household may appear to be during and after the storm.
It is always imperative to
stress the safety you as a parent can provide for your child, so they feel safe. If you don’t feel some degree of security, you can be sure that they will feel at least twice as insecure as you. If you feel loss, their loss will be greater than yours. If you react with alarm, your children may become frightened. This is an unspoken rule; when they see your fear, it is proof to them that the danger is real.
If there is no way for you to keep somewhat calm during the storm it is always better to leave the area of the storm, if possible. Children’s fears often come from their imaginations, which often aren’t based in reality. You should, however, take these feelings seriously never telling them that their fears are not reality based, because their fears are very real to them.
When you talk to your child, be sure to be honest and be able to show them how manageable the storm can be. Remember: most children don’t understand abstract ideas, so showing them with pictures and telling them all they need to know to protect themselves from danger will often alleviate their fears.
Human behaviors, in general, tend toward protection of self both physically and psychologically. If you see children acting out before a storm, you should understand that these behaviors, although seemingly disruptive, are behaviors that create a sort of protection for the child -- it allows them to receive attention, even if it is negative attention. This attention getting behavior is a signal that the child is feeling upset and frightened, even if the behavior looks angry and abusive --
it is not. It is a survival tactic for some children who don’t know how to survive in more productive ways.
Often times we see children who are destructive before and during the storm;
these children need extra attention and caring. The behavior usually subsides after the storm when routines get back to normal.
Be sure that your child is actively involved in recovery projects in your home. When you are sure that the danger has passed, concentrate on her or his emotional needs.
Ask your children how they are feeling and what they are thinking - but don’t nag them about it. They will eventually tell you on their own if there is an open and free exchange of feelings in the house.
The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has come up with psychological issues that children are most afraid of after the storm. Parents should be aware of these so they can be responsive to them. Your response during this time may have a lasting impact on your children. Here they are:
Be aware after the event your children may be most afraid of: The event reoccurring Someone being injured or killed Separation from the family They will be left alone
