One year ago, Florida was under siege by the fury of what seemed to be endless hurricane season. For those who suffered loss, facing the one year anniversary can be a very emotional time. To better understand the process, Stormtips.com asked Dr. Sherrie Raz, Director Institute for Emergency Mental Health Services and our Storm Stress expert to impart some words of advice.
An Anniversary can be very wonderful to celebrate or a trigger for danger. One’s perception of past events is what makes the event viable. If you tell yourself that things are “hopeless,” or feel a prisoner of the past then, indeed, you will feel alone. If you tell yourself that the past was a learning experience from which you came out a survivor … perhaps learned many useful tips for surviving … then you can celebrate your past trauma. Sounds hard to do, but it works. Turn your stress into something positive.
Trauma often breeds guilt. Guilt, in turn, limits self esteem which may then affect all aspects of your life. Feeling that you deserve esteem, affection, and care of another is difficult when you are burdened with guilt. Separating from and setting limits on others, as well as standing up for your own rights, are further complicated by feelings of guilt and shame that are a legacy of trauma.
Survivor guilt, moral guilt, competency guilt, and other kinds of guilt — In every way guilt is physically exhausting and can make life seem more trouble than it is worth. If you feel this way, seek professional help. There are many ways to look at guilt that can revitalize you and change your perception of an event.
When trauma is not properly processed and the feelings and belief systems associated with the trauma are not brought into consciousness, trauma survivors are subject to re-enacting their traumas and to be re-victimized by others. Needless to say, this drains you of much energy and needs to be addressed with a professional.
Managing your triggers is necessary for survival, but it does take time, energy and sometimes money. First understand your trigger reactions, then apply your coping techniques. Using a support system, making calls, going to therapy, writing in a journal are all ways of coping with feelings of impending danger. Going to therapy helps you understand trigger reactions and helps you to find ways to reduce your reactions.
You may find that you have to avoid the anniversary entirely. If possible, try not turning on the TV on a day that you know you will react to the news of the anniversary. Over-committing and overextending yourself, without leaving adequate time to take care of yourself after your triggers have been activated is a very real danger. Slow down and give yourself time to recuperate. The more you were traumatized, the more triggers you need to be concerned about.
This doesn't mean that you must severely limit you life and live in fear of being triggered. It simply means that you need to respect yourself, and understand that you need a lot of energy and time to take care of yourself on the anniversary of a trauma. That means other commitments and obligations may need to be put aside, reduced, or shortened during anniversaries when you know you tend to become highly anxious or depressed.
Coping Techniques
Priority Setting and Time Management Techniques — Write your own script, figure out what is “junk” in your life and what is joy in your life.
Seeking professional help
Using a support network
And, by all means, eat some cake and ice cream — it good for those days!
Dr. Sherrie Raz Director Institute for Emergency Mental Health Services
